Left Or Right? Blue or Black? Stay Or Leave?

Ilham has yet to master the Art of making decision, as he was really confused last nite when we offered him 2 different ice cream flavours with different colours. After all, he is my son, and I'm the worst decision maker in the whole wide world! I'm hoping he won't take after me. Seriously, living as an indecisive person is hard, coz u've gotta depend on logics (and Uzey) the whole time.

There were many, many times in life that I had to make decisions, and Alhamdulillah I think I made the correct ones (for most of 'em). Even the incorrect ones turned okay at the end of the day. It's just a matter of making the maybe-correct decision at that point in time makes it hard for me.

During the time when I was happily working in KL, (I thought I was happy) and had to make a decision whether to accept the job offer in Kert*h or not, it took me days to make up my mind. I even listed down the positive and negative side of it on a whiteboard and forced Uzey to decide for me. Turned out that life in Kert*h was great, so a brownie point for a decision well made.

And at that time when we were about to be outsourced.. It took me days, many, many people's opinions and many, many rakaat of semayang hajat before we decided not to take the offer.. and again, many2 prayers and doa and nazar and hopes to decide whether we should move to Btu or not. Gosh.. it was soo damn hard to decide! For someone like me, it took me hours just to choose between and a black or dark blue shoes, so when it comes to life changing event like this, I just didn't have energy to think!

And now, after 2.2 years in Btu, as we are moving back to where we belong, I've gotta decide, to stay with papa or to rent our own house? to invite my bro, or just leave him alone? to take the bigger house or just settle for the small one? RM600 or RM650? and so many many many more unaswered questions that keep boggling my mind.

Well, I'm giving myself few more days then I shall put a stop to all these Qs, answer it and write it down somewhere and stop asking myself the same questions again!

And.. oh.. shud I buy 2-in-1 washer dryer or buy 'em separately?????

Ilham's World Part III

• jom!
• nak!
• dah!
• shake his head when refusing to eat
• bukak
• cucuppp (tutup)
• u naaaiittt (good nite)
• aye ye youuu (i love u)
• bunyi kambing : bekkkk
• car : boom boom
• wipes his nose himself
• wipes his toys
• take the vacuum and start cleaning the house
• a..b..c...
• birdddd
• point to his nose and eyes when asked
• bye papa!
• jon ju jet (don't do that)
• tiikkkkk (cantik)- everything is cantik now even the kitchen sink

Now Everyone Can Die With M*S

Dear En I*dris J4la,

I think it's about time for you to fire your IT guys who are responsible (they shud, but they aren't) to maintain/update/do whatever for the M4s online booking website. This morning, for the 100th time I tried to book Mama's ticket and for the 101th time the system hang bodoh just like that. And I'm tired of typing my credit card number y'know. The day before I called , I was told "oh our system is down", yesterday I called again "oh, u cant use mastercard, there's a problem with our server" and this morning, "OH, NOW VISA IS HAVING PROBLEM" wtf? wtf? tell me wtf is happening to you guys? don't blame the system, I know I used to but this time, i wouldn't. I've never encountered this kind of stoopid wasting time problem with the other airline.. but this time around, as we are traveling together, and our tickets have been purchased so I cant let my mother travels alone on AA while we are on the other one, can I? So please la En I*drays, I know you are struggling to maintain the standard but please la dont let us suffer membuang masa blogging about your stupid system like this. Haven't you made enuff money to recover your loss? Then use that money to revamp your system, please. If not I will act like a crazy lady again when calling the 1300 number.

signing off,

crazy lady from btu

Ilham's Playground Outing

Ilham posing on a slide & see saw last weekend. Took him to the playground and he had sooo much fun he refused to go home.

A Piece Of Heaven

When I look at him, I see life in its purest form.

I'm blessed.

HAPPY 17th MONTHS B'DAY SAYANG.
We love you.

My Little Ilham

I've not been updating on Ilham's little achievements lately. That's maybe due to being so 'engrossed' in this transfer-maki-bos-bosan keje thingy.. I guess I shud be blogging more bout Ilham after this, after all, this blog is dedicated to him :-)

My darling Ilham will turn 1 year and 5 months in 5 days' time. At this stage, I'm secretly hoping that he can say at least few words so that we can communicate more efficiently, but well, I guess he is still observing the world around him and trying to process every single data in his brain. That's why he always have this solemn look when observing people. Oh no, it's more like staring at people, esp those whom he met for the first time..

He understands most of our directions now, Even those that we were not teaching him at all. He says "vroom" when he sees picture fo a car, or his toy car, even when we say car. He knows how a lamb should sound, he knows his "bird" and keeps repeating (and touching) it during nappy change. He can say Bukak and Tutup in his own version.. bucak.. cucup.. clearly.. He knows in and out and sometimes repeat after me. He can say Bye Papa properly and he can say don't do that in an almost perfect way.

He nods when he wants something and and he shakes in head in disapproval and rejection for almost every kind of food that I offer him. He loves to say Dah! and he holds our hand and say Jom! when he thinks we are going somewhere.

He's a gem and the apple of our eyes. He makes me forget that the outside world is cruel. He makes me forget that sometimes we are in the most difficult situation, and he makes me forget everything around me once I see his smile and when he starts giggling and talking to me in his baby language.

That's my little Ilham. We could not have survived the entire stupid Btu ordeal without him, seriously.

The Letter..

.. has arrived.

Kertih, here I come! tee..hee..

Post- Eid Report

Celebrated raya to the max and ate like there's no tomorrow. Spent 16 days at home (minus 2 traveling days) and berulang alik Kerteh-TM-KB and back to Kerteh. Time well spent with both families and looking forward to go back for good by end of this year.. until.. few minutes ago when BB cam to me with an assignment and a statement "your transfer will depend on the completion of this assignment"...wtf? Ada hati nak hold aku lagi ..sampai February lak tu? bullshitttt... memang a$$hole besar mamat ni.. My transfer has been APPROVED and my name has been published on the intranet and yet, I am still here, covering his big a$$hole until when..forever? well, if that's a challenge, I am more than willing to accept it. And I'll make sure that on 2nd January 2007 , my big fat a$$ will be sitting on a chair in HR Dept, E*EM* dengan jayanya.

Loads of pictures were snapped during raya and Mimi's wedding but none is with me now. And I can't upload the pix from my phone to Palm coz I was absentmindedly deleted the Photos apps. Bangangnya, now I can only view the pics on Palm desktop only. Arghh... Am too lazy to figure out how to reinstall 'em back. am too lazy to do anything.. let me go, fu6ker!

~over and out cursing BB again

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

..and Maaf zahir Batin.. to all my readers? Readers? yeaa rite..do I have readers? Oh I do.. err.. boleh dikira dengan jari :-)
To all my friends, drive safely and have a good time with your families. We are leaving with 4 pm flight today, transit at KLIA for 1.5 hours and depart for KT around 7.30 pm. Hope it's gonna be a smooth journey.
Won't be blogging for approximately 16 days, definitely! As I know I will be busy chasing Ilham around and stuffing my face up with all those raya delicacies.

~ over and out thanking God it's goinghomeday!

It's GOODNEWSDAY!

Feel so happy! A friend's wife delivered a baby girl yesterday and another friend has just received the news that she's pregnant with her 2nd baby! And to think that Ilham and his first son were delivered just 3 days apart. I'm so happy for her coz it took her 4 years, many2 bidan and more than 3 gynaes in her quest to become a mother and suddenly yang 2nd one ni, unexpectedly, without help of any Cl0mid whatsoever.. it's just pure luck and rezeki from God.

and am even happier coz I've got the permission from BB to go home 5 hours earlier on Friday without having to take any leave! yeaahhaaa.. can't wait! have started packing our things since last nite and I actually ironed all of Ilham's clothes.. --> too excited :O nak balik hehe..

~over & out sharing good news wif frens

1/11 or 1/1??

Met my future boss in KL and he was asking me again and again.. "What's holding you?" It was hard for me to answer his question as BB over here is not releasing me..yet. Susahla camni beb. Given a choice, I'd like to start on 1/1.. sebabnya aku taknak la burn kan tiket flight nak pegi Yantie nye wedding!! Hahaha tu je reason dia. If I hv to be there on 1/11, cam tak logikla coz dah semput sangat..today is oledi 9/10.. and on 1/11 we are still on raya hols.. kalau 1/12 lak..burn tiket..rugi.. so I guess the best date would be 1/1. Start new year with new company, new boss, new place (?) and new job.. Just remembered that my nazar is sekor kambing if I get to transfer by this year and another one if I get a place in Kerth.. well, seems that we will have a kambing party on Raya haji this year? Yeahh.. too bad I hate lamb, nevermind, can always include something else in the menu later..

KL trip was good. Ilham was enjoying himself throughout the 4 day trip. During the 2 hr flight, he slept a little, played a little, had juice, cookies, read his book, tear up the pages of the inflight magazine and imitating the sound of someone behind us puking :-) He was also okay during the whole day in mama's care. slept at 1 am , playing with Teh & becik and woke up at 12 noon! Budak kecik apa tido time cam tu? I didn't do any major damage to my credit cards/ bank account, so that's one hell of an achievement for someone uncontrollable like me..

The only major setback during the trip was the hotel. Sucks gile service, esp the laundry bag part! Tell me, which hotel CHARGE their guests for requesting extra laundry bag???llo... u dont expect me to use only ONE laundry bag kalau stay sampai 4,5 days, okay? I've been to the 'posh-er' ones and tak penah pulak kena cam tu. Kalau kedekut sangat, provide the plastic ones..which they dont have oso... iskk.. fail ..fail.. if not becoz of the location, I dun think I will stay there ever, again. Or maybe next time kalau nak stay situ, kena bawak plastic bag sendiri banyak2..


~over & out buat keje yang melambak ni

KL Short Trip

Pocoyo wannabe vs the real pocoyo :)

Ilham & I will be leaving for KL tomorrow, leaving Uzey alone, again. My plan for tomolo, ask mama & teh to wait for us at KL $entral, check in at Im*piana, bukak puasa & wait for abah there. I've read so many bad reviews about that hotel, but that's the only one nearest to KLsisi. I wanna go back during long lunch break on Friday, and I dont hv the heart to stay at MO, malas nak menjawab kalau claim banyak sangat, their rate is so damn expensive! After much contemplating between Nik*ko, Impi*ana, MO, Konkod & H*ilton, I've confirmed my booking at Imp, coz of its location. Siaple kalau service sux, aku komplen banyak2 nanti. Afterall, that's the easiest place for me to go to work Friday morning.. We'll traveling back with one colleague of mine on sunday, so that I have someone else to chase Ilham for me hehe. Hopefully si pokoyo ni tak buat perangai during the 2 hrs flight..

~over & out balik masak utk berbuka

kwik update on the journey
Ilham was such a good boy during the 2 hr journey. reached hotel at 8.15pm. bad decision by staying there, but it's oledi too late..
will update again soon..
miss u Uzey!

Lauk Berbuka For Today

Went to the Tamu last weekend and snapped this pix. Shud have captured in video instead, so baru la bleh nampak ulat2 sagu ni dok menggeliat dalam bakul masing2. It's for sale, 3 ekor singgit. I think if you buy the whole clan, you can get it cheaper.

On our way back, some mangoes captured my attention. Tapi satu timbun RM3 sekilo, next to it, setimbun lagi, RM4 sekilo. So our conversation goes like dis

Aku: Eh ni kenapa harga lain
Makcik : Ni mango, ni mangga (pointing to the timbun)

Wtf???

Alhamdulillah

My wish has finally come true. My paper is cleared, everything is okay, and approval from the VP has been received. What more can I ask for? Cukup dah. I'm so happy rite now, takleh nak describe dah. Hope things will go smoothly after this.. I'm sure banyak lagi obstacles ni, with my current boss yang tak berapa nak ikhlas ni, iskk... As Sue said, this is the best bday gift ever! Memang pun.. rasa nak melompat ni beb...

A'ways, ni lah rupa brownie yang tak macam brownie. Apparently my brownie is soft and fluffy, so konfem la bukan brownie. Boleh ke aku buat brownie tapi jadi kek? Muahaha.. I'm such a loser when it comes to baking! Nasib baik it tastes good, even Ilham loves it! Note to self: Misti beli vanilla ice cream tonite, baru best. Ilham was 'helping' me in the kitchen while I was baking, but he was afraid of hand-mixer! So I had to carry him while mixing the egg+sugar, that's why brownie ni tak menjadi.. muahaha.. excuse, excuses..

I'm so happy today.. lalalalallaa

~over and out bersyukur kepada Tuhan

"So Is Everyone Else"

This one line remark made me cry for almost 20 minutes in the isolated PC lab. To summarize the whole thing, I'm so unlucky to have a heartless, rude, inconsiderate, selfish, annoying bastard to be my boss.
Full stop.

I Miss Ilham..

Uzey drove me to work today, since Ilham woke up very early. As usual, my baby had so much fun sitting in his carseat and watched the world go by, he even hummed few songs and blabbering to himself.

But.. when we reached my office, I gave him a kiss, stepped out of the car and waved to him, his expression changed drastically. No more that cheerful baby singing to himself, he looked so sad, I felt like crying myself. His eyes were fixed on me until Uzey reversed the car and left.


Ilham, I'm sorry I have to leave you. Believe me, I do this for you, for us.. I would trade anything in the world just to be with you.. but I can't. So for the few hours I'm gone, Papa will tak great care of you.. and I'll be home soon!!

Mama loves you so much..

Ilham's Idol

Here's a pix of Ilham with his friends. I don't hv the mood to write anything today, sakit mulut, this big ulcer in my mouth is killing me! Lepas gigi, ulser pulak.. arghh! Oh, we've got our raya tickets. Can't wait to go home!

Happy Ramadhan

I've left my blog idle for few days, due to the stupid rotten tooth that got extracted on Saturday and has made my life miserable since then. Thank God it's okay now and my life is back to normal.

Ilham has a new hobby. He likes playground so much I thought of having one in our own backyard..perghh..macam banyak duit je. But seriously, if were rich, I would buy all those Little Tike$ punye stuff and let him play sampai tido. We went to KFC and he had fun playing on the slides, and when Uzey took him to the palyground while waiting for me at the dentist, Uzey SMSed me and said "Ilham lupa diri".. seriously I can imagine how he was overjoyed being at the playground.

On the other hand, it's 3rd day of Puasa month. This is our 3rd ramadhan here in BTU, and as usual, it sucks. I mean not la the puasa sucks, but we miss all the glorious food we can have back at home!!!

Our fate is going to be determined tomorrow. I know it's all written in qada' and qadar, but I'm praying that we'll get the green light and we'll be outta here by January..aminn...

~over & out solat Zohor

At 15 months..

This is Ilham's favourite pastime activity.. cleaning his toys with that little broom. Am I raising a cleanliness freak? Or this is okay? Well, I think this is fine, just hope that he won't turn out to be like Monk :o One thing for sure is that li'l broom can distract him anytime! Li'l broom saves the day!

Being a cheerful toddler he is, he is not afraid of strangers, but Ilham is afraid of vacuum cleaner, lawn mower & lori simen. There was a butterfly in the house last nite, he was fascinated by it. Wanted to follow the b'fly, but was afraid to venture alone, so he asked me to carry him around to chase that thing. If he is afraid of butterfly, cemana nak bawak gi zoo?

His A..B..C.. is improving now, sounds clearer. Everytime I sing baa..baa.. black sheep.. he will try to imitate.. but only the baa.. baa.. part and followed by shhh.... so his song will be "baa..baa... beh..shhh.."

His appetite is also improving. He can finish a small tub of yoghurt now, compared to before where he only eats a spoonful or two.. and he can also finish a jar of blended rice now in the afternoon, provided I don't come home during lunch break. The only thing that we still need him to do is to drink formula while he is awake! While he sleeps he can drink maximum 6 oz of formula, but he will kick the bottle if he is awake. I really want him to be able to drink formula anytime during the day, so that he won't be 'attacking' me at nite :-)

Well, here's to many many months and years to come for my darling Ilham!

~over & out attending meeting...

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Picture of Ilham & his Aki taken at the golf resort where we stayed for a nite last weekend.

And there goes another weekend.. how time flies. Kejap je and it's almost October. Can we skip November & December? So that we go straight to January and by then we all are back at home.

Went to Miri again, this time with papa & ayim. We departed late Saturday afternoon and went straight to the resort. Went out to had dinner and I was such a good girl for not buying anything eventhough Au$$ino ada stock clearance, sebabnya, I left my wallet at home! Menyesal nya aku tertinggal menda tu, next time, I won't leave home without my plastic money. But on the other hand, it did me good for not spending on the unnecessary..

Oh and I guess I shud write to MD of Coff33 Bean & Tea leaf mesia sebabnya, ultimate mocha at their Miri branch doesn't taste like ultimate mocha at all! Korang tipu ingredients, eh? Ceh.. and I paid 12 bucks just for a taste of plain ice blended.. tak altimet langsunG!

Left Miri around 3 pm and was home by 5 pm. Last nite I prepared kurma ayam but everyone was still full, so I made sushi instead and keep the kurma for today's lunch. I feel bad when papa is home and I hv to come to work. And I've a meeting at 7.30 pm tonite!!! WTF???? Why laaa kena buat meeting when I have guests... tssk..tskk...

Called the travel agent just now to re-route our flight, instead of arriving in KBR, we will arrive at TGG. So that we can be in Kert for few days before raya to help with Mimi's wedding preps. After that, balik raya TM and eve of 1st raya must return to Kert. Pengsan beb. I'll never ever plan for a wedding during raya time! Bleh mati cam ni..

Ilham is enjoying every minutes of his time, since ada company at home. And he shows an instant liking to his aki. After all, he'll be spending most of his time with Aki later, when we move to Kert, I'll drop him at papa's place before going to work.

Bosan & bosan & bosan. Hafta finish few things by today

~over & out